Sex, Secrets, and Lies: The Marriage Vows Revisited

In Sex, Secrets, and Lies, author Marie Miranti Burnett, PhD, encourages husbands and wives to rethink their vows and consider whether sexual exclusivity should remain the rigid foundation of a good marriage, an ideal that too often leads to secrets and lies and the dissolution of relationships meant to last a lifetime. To strengthen the vow "until death do us part" it may be necessary to place less importance on the vow "to forsake all others." Honest conversations about our sexual needs could lead to real changes in the institution of marriage for the twenty-first century. To guide the conversation, Dr. Burnett draws on her thirty years of clinical experience, listening to the secrets of men and women grappling with their warring needs for freedom and commitment. She shares the stories told to her by urban, educated, thirty-something clients whose values and struggles reflect the significant changes in our sex lives over the past half-century. In Sex, Secrets, and Lies, Dr. Burnett informs couples that a solid marriage consists of an honest, ongoing conversation requiring courageous disclosure and respectful listening that promotes understanding and forgiveness--and that having someone to count on for a lifetime may be the true meaning of monogamy.